Ten don’t do’s for hobby game developers
When making computer games there are lots of hurdles in your way. Sometimes it is easy for a beginner or hobbyist to start on the wrong foot so this is a list of the worst ways you can treat your game.
Ok, so let's doom your game project:
1. Aim for the stars
Why make a clone of Pong as your first game when you could be making the next big MMO game? Don’t worry yourself about never having made a computer game before, just come up with the biggest game idea you possibly can and start developing it.
2. Do it for fame and money
Lots of people have made money and become famous in this world so why shouldn’t you? Since your game idea is the best the world has ever seen you should start planning on what to spend all the money on that you are about to make and what hot Hollywood star you want to date.
3. Be secretive and paranoid
You have this crazy idea that will turn into the world’s best game once you develop it. Make sure not to tell anyone about it, not even your mom or dog, but make sure that everybody knows that you are working on something truly great and that it is going to be huge when you release it. Men in black will most likely be watching you so trust no one.
4. ONLY listen to yourself
Never listen to feedback about your game. It is the players who are getting it wrong and they must be dumb since they can’t figure out your brilliant rules, controls and story. If your game crashes on most systems then tell the players to throw out their old pc’s and go buy new ones.
5. Rip music and graphics from all your favourite games
Remember that Metal Gear Solid game with awesome music? Why not use that music in your next big game where Mario has to fight Master Chief and save Lara Croft? Copyright laws don’t apply to brilliant people. Imagine how all those great characters finally will come to life when you take control and the original developers will wish they had got that idea first.
6. Only focus on incredible graphics
We all know the only reason a new FPS game can sell a million copies is either because it got lucky or because of how good it looks. Having photorealistic graphics is surely the most important part of a game today so you should spend more time doing graphics than on anything else in the game. Everybody knows that good graphics equals a good game. Gameplay is so last year.
7. Quit on first sign of trouble
There is no reason to continue working on a game if it requires you to learn new skills. Run away as fast as you can and start on a new game project that is bigger and better. In fact you should delete the old project from your hard drive and pretend it never even existed.
8. People should pay to play your game
Try to avoid all the cheapskates of the world by requiring people to purchase your game if they want to play it. Free is for hippies and ads are for sissies. If you decide to have a demo version it should only contain a single screen with a buy button for the full version of your awesome game.
9. Sell you big ideas to the professional game companies and make loads of money
When working on your own über cool game you need some money to feed you and pay the bills so why not make a living by bombarding all the big developers with all your other world class ideas for new games? Don’t stop just because none of them ever reply, send even more ideas and think of the millions you are going to make.
10. Quit your job or education to make games
Be a pro and quit on your normal everyday activities like school or your job. Remove anything from your life that detracts from making games. Maybe you will finally be happy once all those annoying people and duties are out of your way. Burn all bridges and never look back.
Maybe that last rule will destroy not only your hobby making games but your life too actually.
Oh, and do remember that there is also that other perspective… It is probably better to look at game development from a positive perspective.
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January 18th, 2010 - 17:06
#7 is the real killer